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An Italo Disco rarity from 1987 now available again on colored
12“ Maxi Single

Odd Mob returns with a kaleidoscopic new record ‘Been Dreaming’ and introduces his alter ego GD Vandal. As the first official release under this moniker for Brisbane-based Harry Hope, he sets out to combine the very best of Odd Mob’s banging basslines with the lo-fi, disco stylings that GD Vandal has become known for in his exclusive raw cuts.

Swirling with a mysterious ‘90s-tinged vocal loop, his flair for working a sample is on full display throughout ‘Been Dreaming’, which is both dynamic and determined to get you moving. Propelled forward by energizing percussive grooves and one tasty guitar riff working flawlessly in tandem, prepare to be magnetized to the dancefloor as Odd Mob’s signature juicy low-end takes over.

On the flip, the dance floor warper ‘XTC’, melding industrial leaning sounds with a thumping baseline and hypnotic vocal.

Whether it’s as Odd Mob or GD Vandal, or combining the best of both worlds, one thing is certain: there’s no doubt he knows how to craft an absolute banger.

Junior Jack’s timeless 2004 disco/house fusion ‘Stupidisco’ receives a spread of dynamic remixes from some of the most talented remixers around.

Kicking things off is Spanish DJ and producer David Penn, who takes the stems and gives them an immaculate polish! Taking JJ’s Pointer Sisters sampling goodness and working into a re-sliced, disco-house filter journey with punchy kicks, tremulating basslines and an anthemic piano that is guaranteed to bring the sun out from the clouds.

Next up is Germany's Deeperlove with the toughest mix in the package with it's tech house inspired drums and bassline.

On the flip side, Aussie based Kiwi Jolyon Petch jumps in, delivering 2 killer remixes with his Italo inspired Jolyon Petch Remix and a nu-disco treat under his Elektrik Disko alias.

Italian DJ and producer Francis De Simone debuts on Lee Foss and Jamie Jones' label Hot Creations with London Bass. Having built a solid back catalogue in recent years, his first Hot Creations release embodies the dynamic sound of the Palermo-born artist, channelling chunky tech house and disco-flavoured melodies.

De Simone explains his creative thinking behind the EP. "These tracks fully express my devotion to music. I ranged a lot, trying to remember an 80's sound up to a more raw and synthetic groove with Latin vocals to embrace the different ethnic groups." Reflecting his thoughts to a tee, the title track rumbles with a massive bassline and chopped-up vocals that add an instant burst of energy. Things get weird on Saludos A Todos, as thumping kickdrums collide with a trippy melody and even trippier vocals, creating a wavey atmosphere. The ideal club curveball. On Off White, De Simone delivers a pacey number packed with burbling beats and clicky percussion, complemented by dreamy vocals. The hint is in the name on closing track, This Is Undergound. A big room delight, De Simone drops a stripped-back banger, where the lyrics do the talking in tandem with a driving bassline. An excellent addition to the Hot Creations discography.

Based in Palermo, Italy, Francis De Simone stems from a family of musicians. Having played the drums from age two, the versatile artist can make anything from rock, pop and jazz, but these days, De Simone pens electronic music. His father worked as a bouncer for various local discos and exposed De Simone to dance music from a young age, later inspiring him to produce house and techno with an uplifting tint. Releases on Glasgow Underground, LW Recordings and REALM Records have helped shape the profile of this flourishing artist, with plenty more to come further down the line.

Originally recorded by D-Train, some might say this is one of the most important post disco records from the 1980’s, which appeared on the legendary Prelude records originally. What makes this version particularly special, is the fact it features another important artist from the post disco era Colonel Abrams, who is most famous for his cult classics ‘Trapped’ and ‘I’m Not Gonna Lie’ which both topped the charts in the mid 80’s. Aussie disco lord Dr Packer, who is currently on tour across Europe teams up with newcomer Sonic Soul Orchestra, who flip this into a fresh disco house cut that includes all new instrumentation whilst respecting the smooth vocal stylings of the Colonel. Plus remixes from Ross Couch, & Ricky Morrison (M&S).

Early DJ Support:
Jamie Jones, Mark Knight, Michael Gray, Roger Sanchez.

Following releases from label founder Palms Trax, a reissue of eighties Chicago House innovator Rog’e, and a pair of cassette mixtapes from Berlin-based selectors Enchanted Rhythm and Budino, CWPT looks to the North-East of England for its next release, live and direct from REES.

Hot on the heels of a twelve-inch on Bordello A Parigi and underscoring a slowly simmering reputation as one of the brightest stars of his community, REES’s debut on CWPT is a classy and globally informed perspective on house, disco and acid styles.

Undistilled rhythm is at the heart of Rees’s vision of club culture; on title track, Devils Club, it’s effect makes itself known immediately, driving a channel of lively percussion towards a series of tasteful breakdowns that are both propulsive and alluring. On ‘Magic’, a confidently raw, loose drum loop accelerates into a glossy, psychedelic speed-chase that’s pure Miami Vice reimagined in Middlesbrough.

On the flip, two versions of ‘The Spirit’ tastefully expand beyond REES’s musical borders and into warm, cinematic territory, blending tropically tinted instrumentation with (and then without) an entrancing vocal sample.

Siedah Garrett's seminal 1985 classic 'Do You Want It Right Now' receives 3 new incredible remixes from Dr Packer, BluePrint and Jolyon Petch.

Dr Packer delivers a truly funk-worthy re-work injecting a barrage of the smoothest soul-laced sonics for an early 90s house meets nu disco cut.

Jolyon Petch ramps up the funk with infectious guitar licks and groove-laden bass for his 'Elektrik Disko Mix’.

Burgeoning British producer and Stress Records artist BluePrint drops a rolling progressive house / melodic techno hedonistic dancefloor cut, re-working the classic with absolute finesse with sleek piano work floating euphorically around the iconic lyrics.

Most famous for her song writing credits on Michael Jackson's 'Man in The Mirror', as well as a duet on Jackson's 'I Just Can't Stop Loving You' and 'Don't Look Any Further' with Dennis Edwards, it's no surprise that Siedah Garrett's long career has cemented her as one the most iconic names from the 80's. 'Do You Want It Right Now' which featured in the 1985 movie 'Fast Forward' has been sampled over the years by the likes of Armand Van Helden and covered by Degrees of Motion and this iconic anthem is still considered as one of the game changers during the pivot into the 'Freestyle' movement during the 80's.

DJ Support across the mixes from Danny Howard, Mark Knight, Breakbot, Rudimental, Claptone, Jamie Jones, Sam Divine, Oliver Heldens, Riva Starr, Alaia & Gallo, Judge Jules, Mousse T, Joachim Garraud, Kevin McKay, Russell / Freemasons, Paco Osuna, Oliver Dollar.

A well-known figure of the Roman nightlife, resident of the city's iconic Goa Club and its infamous Ultrabeat nights, Simona Calvani, aka DJ Red, steps up on Danza Tribale with 'The Prophets Are Smiling' - her first material to surface since the release of her 'Raw Cacao' EP on Wolfskuil in 2016, here featuring an exclusive revamp from local hero Lorenzo D'Angelo, alias Lory D.

Fitting the label's trance-triggering ethos to perfection, this new record finds the Italian DJ and producer rushing headlong into tropicalised techno grounds, halfway ethno-ritualistic music and a future-ready kind of big-room churn, primed for Berlin's fiercest subterranean raves as much as ayahuasca-induced rituals in the heart of a misty rainforest.

Dipping its toes in teeming beds of organic textures and ancient rhythmic tribalisms, 'The Prophets Are Smiling' fully gears toward awakening your senses and elevating your mind to a broader and further acute state of consciousness. Bathed in a mystique-imbued atmosphere, the track steadily oscillates betwixt a no-nonsense steely swing, glazed industrial tints and epic-sized primitive chants to better daze and confuse its audience.

Hopping on remix duty, Italian techno legend Lory D provides the wares with implacable efficiency, as he reveals the more intricate side of DJ Red original's cogs and wheels to turn it into a proper off-axis floor crusher. Rolling onto a more classic and functional pathway, 'Moon' is a paragon of hypno-tech efficiency. Channeling the pulsating energy of a thousand dancing hearts through a distinctively rich and deep melodic prism, DJ Red confirms her status as one of the Roman scene's most gifted pacesetters.

2x12" Vinyl + full cover artwork

One of the world's most in demand DJs and producers, Noir has been responsible for some of the most poignant - as well as explosive moments in clubland's recent history. Arguably best known for his huge dancefloor bomb 'Around', Noir now drops his debut studio album, a project that has been nearly half a decade in the making.'Around', a sexy, synthesizer-tinted groove featuring vocalist Hayze dominated dancefloors across the world for close to two years, making Noir a household name across clubland. And it's still as popular as ever - the Solomon Vox remix of 'Around' has amassed more than 12 million views on YouTube.

As well as 'Around', Noir includes further club hits 'Around feat. Hayze', 'My Fault feat. HRRSN' and current single 'Black feat. Caitlin', evidencing Noir's desire to work with a variety of vocalists to create something far 7 weightier than simply a collection of club tracks. Noir is about telling stories, boating 12 completely unique productions that chart the artist's evolution over the course of his expansive career. With many of its cuts moving away from the strict four-to-the-floor parameters of house music production, the horizons of Noir stretch way beyond the dancefloor. Taking cues from a range of artists from Depeche Mode to Kraftwerk, and Massive Attack to Timbaland - all of whom have heavily influenced Noir's aesthetic - Noir is an emotionally charged and

utterly engrossing body of work. Says Noir of working on the album: 'The album has been in the making since I started working on 'Around' back in 2010, so for me it's a body of work that spans nearly 5 years, with changes to productions, melodies and moods before I was happy with the final tracks. 'What you hear on the album is the culmination of all the music and influences I grew up and have lived with over the years: it is absolutely my identity and honestly represents my musical passions. Unlike many 'dance' albums that are little more than a collection of thrown-together club tracks, Noir combines tirelessly creative songwriting with multi-faceted production that reveals fresh delights with every listen: a timeless release from a truly singular artist.

There is a particular kind of strangeness that arrives on long drives across Europe. Flat light, service stations and fields stretching endlessly past the window. It might look mundane at first glance, but becomes faintly surreal when the tiredness of touring blurs the edges of everything.

That feeling became the quiet engine behind Driving Through Belgium, the debut solo album from Anton Pearson, best known as one of the guitarists in respected post-punk outfit Squid. The title grew from a track that felt like the record’s centrepiece, which itself came from the recurring image of extensive periods on the road across the continent. It is a record shaped in the margins of touring, and finessed in the in-between hours.

Across six pieces, Pearson leans into atmosphere, texture and space. It is ambient in spirit, adjacent to contemporary classical in feeling, but composed less with notes in mind than with sound itself. The compositions rarely began with harmony or melody, with Pearson instead responding to his environment and sounds in real time, placing trust in his instinct.

Although initial inspiration came from the road, the album was recorded in a studio he shares in Brighton, and marks his first fully solo project made in that setting. It gave him access to not only new tools and techniques, but a hitherto un-experienced freedom. Much of the process began experimentally, feeding instruments into unfamiliar chains, pitching loops into unexpected registers and playing with previously unused synthesizers simply to see what they might reveal. Many of the sounds were created out of pure curiosity, wanting to understand a piece of equipment or technology, and then following wherever it led.

The album was built with this experimentation at its core, as Pearson would layer then extract, processing stacks of sound until things blur and confuse. Guitars dissolve into drones, a Pianet Clavinet dances against muddier textures whilst a Korg PS-1000 occasionally cuts through with its glittering top end. On ‘Driving Past the Muscular Cows in Belgium’, a flat, still drone is pushed through valve amps until it growls and tightens with tension, before receding again. Even the trumpet, which Pearson freely admits he is not technically proficient at, is embraced in its naivety, its squeaks left intact rather than corrected. The twin ‘Tintinnabulation’ pieces frame the record with looping, pitched bell like tones, accidental discoveries that became structural anchors. Meanwhile, ‘Teeth to Cut the Grass’ deliberately introduces abrasion, some of the harshest textures on the record, a refusal to become passive background music.


That embrace of imperfection is central. In contrast to the hyper-analytical precision of his band, Pearson was keen to honour first takes. If something felt good, it would stay. The end result is an album that favours looseness, instinct and the energy of creation itself. If Squid thrives on propulsion and tension, Anton Pearson finds his energy in suspension on Driving Through Belgium. It is curious rather than declarative, creating a space where experimentation feels playful again.

Straight from the backseat of a tinted SUV and into the headphones of every die-hard fan from the West Side to the coast, LUCKI returns with Dr*gs R Bad—a title that’s half-ironic, half-exhausted, and 100% Tune. This isn't a PSA; it’s a high-speed, low-pass filtered look at a life where the designer denim is heavy and the heart is even heavier. Drowning in those signature ethereal, space-trap melodies that sound like a 4:00 AM fever dream, LUCKI trades his usual nonchalance for a raw, "out of luck" transparency that reminds his cult following why he’s the undisputed king of the heartbreak flex. It’s the soundtrack for the late-night drives and the "everything’s a movie" lifestyle where the credits are starting to blur, proving once again that nobody captures the beautiful, nihilistic chaos of the climb quite like Neptune.

Die XKatedral Anthology Series III ist die dritte Ausgabe einer Reihe von Archivveröffentlichungen, die Musik von Komponisten zeigen, die sich mit langsam sich entwickelnder harmonischer und klanglicher Musik beschäftigen. Die hier vorgestellten Stücke konzentrieren sich auf die Verwendung von synthetischen und akustischen Klängen sowie auf algorithmische Komposition als Werkzeuge für präzises Arbeiten im Bereich der spektralen Erforschung. Dieses Doppel-Vinyl-Set erscheint anlässlich des zehnjährigen Jubiläums des Labels und enthält Werke aus den Jahren 2014 bis 2025. Es wird zusammen mit Neuauflagen der XKatedral Anthology Series I-II veröffentlicht. "My Falling Sinks" von Kali Malone ist eine sparsame, absteigende Melodie für justierte Orgel, Cello und Akustikgitarre mit Lucy Railton und Stephen OüfMalley. Das Stück ist eine kompositorische Skizze in septimaler reiner Stimmung, die 2021 während eines Aufenthalts in La Becque auf einer experimentellen Stimmorgel in La Temple de La Tour-de-Peilz entstanden ist. ,Empyrean Flare" von Maria W Horn wurde 2022 für ,The Dawn Chorus" der Choreografin Stina Nyberg komponiert. Dieses Stück nutzt die von Arvo Pärt entwickelte Tintinnabuli-Technik, um vier Supersaw-Oszillatoren in langsamen diatonischen Arpeggios zu animieren, die um eine Moll-Tonika-Dreiklang kreisen, und destabilisiert das harmonische Gerüst durch Glissandi und verstärkt die Summe seiner Teile durch analoge Bandsättigung. ,Tessellation" von David Granstrom wurde im Sommer 2017 mit generativen Synthesemethoden komponiert. Die musikalische Periodizität und harmonische Bewegung, die in dem Stück zu hören sind, entstehen durch feste synthetisierte Bandschleifen, die einen Raum zwischen gegensätzlichen Welten erkunden. "To Whoever Shall Inherit the Earth" ist das erste Solostück von Jessica Ekomane und entstand laut der Komponistin fast zufällig. Das Werk wurde vor einem Jahrzehnt spät in der Nacht aufgenommen und fängt einen flüchtigen, zerbrechlichen und unwiederholbaren Moment ein, der genau so festgehalten wurde, wie er sich ereignet hat. Smoking Mother von Stephen OüfMalley wurde für Gisele Vienneüfs Der Teich / LüfEtang von Robert Walser geschaffen. Es wurde 2018 während eines Aufenthalts im SMEM-Synthesearchiv in Freiburg komponiert und im August 2020 bei EMS produziert. Das Stück greift auf Werke von Zia Mohuiddin Dagar, Krzysztof Penderecki und Popol Vuh zurück und erkundet gleichzeitig die Wurzeln des Minimalismus. ,Att boja sjalarna" von Mats Erlandsson wurde 2018 komponiert und ist Teil von ,On Eternity", einer Sammlung von vier Texten und vier zehnminütigen Kassettenloops, die 2021 von Irrlicht Forlag als limitierte Box-Set-Edition veröffentlicht wurde. Dieses Werk enthält Darbietungen von Gaianeh Pilossian und Sara Fors, jeweils auf der Violine und mit Gesang. This will be my last piece for organ wurde 2025 von Theodor Kentros komponiert und nutzt Gruppen von Cluster-Oszillatoren durch resonante Rückkopplung, um die schwankenden Frequenzen zu synthetisieren, die beim Verstimmen einer Orgel im physischen Raum zu hören sind. "Fault Lines" wurde von Daniel M Karlsson mit generativen Methoden komponiert, wobei ein deterministischer und endlicher Output für diese Veröffentlichung festgelegt wurde. Dieses Stück enthält Gesangsdarbietungen von Sara Fors, Ansis B.ti. und Art.rs C.ukurs.

New album by french rapper Sheldon, including featurings with Chilly Gonzales, Jazzy Bazz, Tuerie, Asfar Shamsi...



Monsters are never where we expect them to be. They take shape in silences, in vague fears, in the baggage we carry without always understanding it. Sometimes, we also encounter them along the course of a life. On this new album, Sheldon chooses to dance with them, to tame them with wit, grace, and a sense of peace.



Following a powerful return with Grünt 75, an iconic format to which the 75e Session collective brought particularly ambitious visual staging, Sheldon unveils a fourth album that unfolds across fourteen tracks like a chiaroscuro landscape, revealing the full depth of his emotional and musical range. Through intimate narratives, the record explores identity (Être une fille), family and fatherhood (La Fenêtre and Les Monstres, the title track), as well as friendship (Eh le reuf). These are themes that run through all of us, approached here with writing that is vivid, demanding, and deeply sensitive.

Driven by a strong narrative arc, the album features songs like Être une fille, which challenges and questions us. On it, Sheldon reflects on his relationship to gender, his doubts and discomfort with the codes of masculinity, and the idea that he has sometimes imagined himself elsewhere. Tracks like La Fenêtre and Avec ça illuminate the album like moments of communion, sincere, warm, and unifying, carried by a childlike lightness that makes tomorrow disappear.

True to his open minded and ever curious artistic approach, Sheldon draws from a wide range of musical genres while keeping rap as the album’s guiding thread, giving each song its own singular identity and contributing to the balance of the whole. To shape the project, Sheldon surrounded himself with a new generation of musicians and beatmakers whose influences span rap, indie rock, pop, and experimental music. Among them are Johnny Ola, who has notably composed for Zamdane, Jazzy Bazz, and Edge, Rodolphe Babignan, Carbonne’s flamenco guitarist, and Jeune Oji, an artist signed to Friends of Friends Music. Together, they bring melodic and acoustic richness, as well as a collective generosity that deepens the album’s intimacy.

This new album also opens the door to new collaborations.

On L’école primaire, Chilly Gonzales joins Sheldon for an unconventional piano and vocals piece, driven by cinematic, deeply intimate storytelling. Using his primary school as a point of reference, Sheldon retraces his path from childhood to adulthood, somewhere between nostalgia and serenity.

On Cowgirl, Tuerie joins Sheldon for a soft, melodic ballad with an 80s tint, capturing the weightlessness of a sunlit summer.

On Sidequest, Sheldon reunites with Asfar Shamsi, who had already appeared on his Grünt. Over a delicate cloud trap production, the two artists open up about everyday pain, finding in introspection a way to put things into perspective.

Finally, Vol de nuit brings Jazzy Bazz and Sheldon together for an intimate exchange over an ethereal, mysterious production, as both artists look back on their journeys with calm and clarity.

Conceived alongside Sheldon’s closest circle, the project celebrates family, friendship, and love as its founding pillars. Sheldon chooses to step away from the images, allowing his story to be embodied instead through the faces and gestures of those around him. This approach runs through all of the project’s visuals. Rejecting the excess of spectacular image making, he chose instead to hand a camera to his loved ones so they could offer their own vision of a song from the album. By opening a small window onto his intimacy, and that of the people closest to him, Sheldon finds a way to say a great deal with very little, turning deeply personal trajectories into something universal.

Like the music videos, the album cover is rooted in a deliberately simple approach, where the fantasy of childhood disrupts reality. Designed by Tenzin, the graphic designer behind Sheldon’s recent projects, Ptite Sœur, and also work for Jul, it is based on an archival photograph taken during a traditional carnival in Tenzin’s native village. With no staging involved, the image captures children in costume mid parade, caught in a spontaneous burst of movement, embodying the free innocence of childhood.



Les Monstres marks a new chapter in Sheldon’s journey. Like a rainbow after the storm, this fourth album reveals new colours in the artist’s discography, as he delivers a record that is both demanding and accessible, intimate and open, one in which music becomes a love letter to friendship and to love itself. Set for release on April 24, 2026, the album will be followed by a tour culminating at La Cigale in Paris on December 3, 2026.

This new Mysteries drop is pure Mental Neo Hard Trance! Bringing you 4 producers that at the moment are pushing their own style thereby referencing oldschool HardTrance and PsyTrance - in a good way minus the cringy cheese. Gateway tunnel vision stuff, mental in the true sense.
A: Eat Your Mind & L'Enfant D'La Plèbe – Up Into The Ether, 33 rpm; Pulse 160
A 15 Minute epic journey into the upper spheres of the ether with a superb break and a completely new track beginning, screams of ecstasy guaranteed. Sublime!
B1: Neurotribe – Thetra 6:41 Pulse 165
A driver to push the crowd forward, pure dancefloor energy! Stripped down for efficiency the track is building the tension and ascending the stairway to full Noom. Commander Tom would approve.
B2: Pneumatix – The Return Of Mich 7:05 Pulse 170
A driving minimal workout, heavily tinted with Psytrance swirls. Focusing on a few outstanding sound sculptures, bringing them to the front, holographic and vivid. A finely calibrated system will drive the audience crazy. Be careful with the minds of other people, license required.
12“ Vinyl release is limited to 300 copies, includes digi-codes and comes in a unique full cover artwork with 2 sided inlay /poster and sticker by Darkam and TDSiGNZ,
Mastering Stefan ZMK. Transparent blue vinyl.
Mastering: Stefan ZMK
Artwork: Darkam

Two weird covers, one of the La Boum theme song and and on the flip Les adventures de Tin Tin theme song by Forever Pavot and his robotic friend Melchior.

Phantasy transports back to 1982 for a faithful reissue of the highly sought after ‘Fools Are Friendly’ from Xclusiv, carefully re-mastered from the original tapes.

The alias of sisters Karen and Maxine Berlinski, Xclusiv emerged inconspicuously from the London borough of Croydon with a sophisticated vision of cosmic disco pop, linking the suburbs with Soho’s neon-tinted nightlife. Decades later, and in close collaboration with the sisters, this highly sought-after record arrives lovingly reissued by Phantasy in its original, sensuous form.

Originally self-released on Le Maitre Music, a record label spun-off from their family-run fireworks and pyrotechnics company, ‘Fools Are Friendly’ has the irresistible sense of a radio hit that never was. A brilliant DIY reflection of the disco and soul that dominated the charts of the time, its glossy, primitive electronics echo the synth experiments of Giorgio Moroder or Didier Marouani, pioneers that were transforming pop music.

The extended mix provides an overture to the sisters’ twinned vocals, unfolding with delectable disco drama. In contrast, the Instrumental Mix lets the record’s blend of elements truly breathe, a synthesised version of Xclusiv’s irresistible vocal hook holding court between timeless arpeggios and subtle modulation.

"FEELING FULLY YOURS" PRE-ORDER ONLY EDITION:
Heavyweight Vinyl / Original glued prints on Thick Cardboard 700 gram / 2 Separated parts hand-glued / Glossy lamination / PVC outer sleeve / Bandcamp Limited Edition 30 pages paperback booklet printed on "Favini Tintoretto Bianco" 350 gram cardboard / "Watoji" Japanese hand-bound with black cotton / hand painted cherry red fore-edge / Full interview to Jym Marks by Tony Higgins printed on 90 gram "Fedrigoni Constellation Snow"/ full album lyrics printed on 90 gram "Favini Seaweed Paper"and exclusive full format B&W picture printed on high quality photographic paper, Books front cover printed on 300 gram Moldmade paper.

Following the strong reception of their second album, Totem of Quiet Mystic (2023) Jiyu have earned praises from outlets such as Jazzwise, Enlace Funk and The Chillout Tent, as well as support from a wide range of iconic DJs including Patrick Forge & Chris Coco. The singles to this new album, Cumulus & the Subterranean, Smell of Fire and Deep Woods, have immediately been embraced—drawing glowing reactions and airplay from dj's like, Phil Cooper, Dj Vadim, Fred Everything, David Patterson, Jon Kennedy and Curtis Colin

On this third album from Jiyu, the Copenhagen band stretch their cosmic–spiritual jazz language into deeper, wilder terrain. Dropping April 10th on vinyl and digital via Dubsoul Records, the record captures six musicians in full telepathic flight, recorded at 12 Ton Studio in Copenhagen. Across eight tracks, elastic basslines, jazz-dub-soul—tinted drums and percussion, Wurlitzer and jazz-guitar glow and flute-swept atmospheres drift between grounded groove and open-sky improvisation, while guest vocalist Mai Lan Doky adds dreamlike textures on Cumulus & the Subterranean. From the shuffled broken-beat pulse of Smell of Fire to the slow-burn haze of Deep Woods, the Wild Things album is a rich analogue-soul excursion—earthy, exploratory and tuned to the outer frequencies.

Demetrio Castellucci and Massimo Pupillo present the music of Sleep Technique, a performance by Dewey Dell inspired by the Chauvet cave and its ancient cave paintings.
The music comes to life anew on record, an immersion into the depths of sonic particles, moist electroacoustic rhythms, the repeated forms of speleothems, and the electric bass that scrapes the walls, shaping them into concave or convex surfaces. A voice that moves incredibly slowly, yet is in constant motion, like the millennia-old, unceasing erosion of water.
The album’s journey follows the geography of the cave in reverse, moving from its deepest chamber back to the entrance.

Demetrio Castellucci is a composer and sound designer who has been involved in theater productions, choreography, and film since 2004. Around the same time, he began performing as a DJ, favoring an omnitemporal approach geared toward dance that transcends musical genres. Since 2006, he has been a member of the dance company Dewey Dell, and since 2007, he has been active as Black Fanfare, a maximalist electroacoustic project. He has collaborated on performances by Andreco and Enrico Ticconi/Ginevra Panzetti, as well as on films by Ahmed Ben Nessib, Beatrice Pucci, and Ilaria di Carlo. After living in London and Berlin, he settled in Vilnius, where in 2018 he founded Unarcheology, a digital platform that publishes music and radio programs. He is also active as Airport Gad, an ambient project which, together with Unarcheology, launched its own “Airline Company”: concerts in a flight simulator built from cardboard, where the pilots are also the musicians.

Massimo Pupillo is best known as a founding member of the band Zu, with whom he has released 18 albums and performed over 2,000 live shows worldwide. He has maintained a highly open and multidisciplinary approach that has led him to work with some of the most acclaimed figures in the contemporary art world: South African photographer Roger Ballen, actors Malcolm McDowell and Marton Csokas, Romeo Castellucci and Chiara Guidi of Societas Raffaello Sanzio, American choreographer Meg Stuart, poet Anne Waldman, and Italian poet Gabriele Tinti, among others. He has collaborated live and in the studio with avant-garde musicians and composers such as Alvin Curran, piano duo Katia & Marielle Labèque, and classical virtuosos like Viktoria Mullova and Giovanni Sollima. He has also worked with some of the most influential names in the international rock scene, including Mike Patton, Thurston Moore, Jim O’Rourke (Sonic Youth), Guy Picciotto & Joe Lally (Fugazi), Buzz Osborne (Melvins), and Damo Suzuki (CAN).

In the field of improvised music, he has collaborated with Peter Brötzmann, Toshinori Kondo, Mats Gustafsson, Ken Vandermark, and Tony Buck, among others. Within the experimental music scene, his collaborations include Oren Ambarchi, David Tibet (Current 93), Thighpaulsandra (Coil), Stephen O’Malley (Sunn O))), Abul Mogard, Mick Harris (Scorn), Gordon Sharp (This Mortal Coil), FM Einheit (Einstürzende Neubauten), and many more. In cinema, he composed the score for Kirill Serebrennikov’s film LIMONOV, presented at Festival de Cannes in 2024.

Following a successful first volume of the newly launched DC4 compilation this summer, Volume 2 arrives featuring four on-point singles from the label’s extended family of artists, alongside a string of label debutants. Heerhorst & PETER PAHN return to the fold following their contribution to ‘Dark Clouds’ with Teenage Mutants, a former Beatport no.1 and highlight of 2023 for the label. Continuing the celestial themes ‘Crystal Sky’ feels like part 2 to ‘Dark Sky’, a lively electro-tinted record driven by dreamy melody lines and chanting vocals that has plenty of peak-time energy. Italian behemoth’s Mind Against debut on Drumcode in collaboration with Tharat, ‘Cloud’ is one of the most interesting releases we’ve heard on the label in recent times, marked by a head-spinning flurry of stuttering, distorted sounds, all the while maintaining a rolling,

intoxicating groove. Rising German artist Kos:mo mints his first release on DC with ‘Samsara', a fierce acid techno cut that takes on a life of its own in the second stanza, equally fit for a film soundtrack as a dancefloor, such is its dramatic arc. OZBEK & Zafer Atabey are mainstays of the Turkish techno and tech house scene, ‘My Culture’ is drenched in attitude, a slick slice of punchy dancefloor grit, with a foot in house, techno and electro, driven by a rapped vocal line.

Designers is a new trio by Joachim Florent (double bass), Will Guthrie (drums) and Aki Rissanen (piano). Florent and Guthrie are based in Nantes, France, Rissanen in Helsinki, Finland, and their debut album on We Jazz Records presents a band with highly original, forward-reaching sound that builds on the long tradition of the jazz piano trio, updating it successfully.

NEW MISERABLE EXPERIENCE are a Philadelphia-rooted collective that reshapes heavy-music rigour into expansive, melody-forward songs through alternative synth-rock. What started as a file-trading collaboration between vocalist/bassist David Grossman (ex- ROSETTA) and multi-instrumentalist Joshua Mahesh Kost expanded into a full band that now includes ROSETTA drummer Bruce "B.J." McMurtrie Jr., technical-metal bassist Brett Bamberger (REVOCATION), and guitarist Brody Uttley (RIVERS OF NIHIL). The group forgoes technical exhibitionism in favour of mood and melody, composing introspective songs designed to reward close listening. Across the twelve tightly arranged tracks of 3rd album "Gild The Lily", the band pares its palette to essential elements: clear melodies, precise dynamics, and richly textured production. The album trades overt bombast for craft, building emotional weight through small gestures and patient arrangements rather than moments of spectacle. "We started saying `infinite sadness' as a bit of a catch phrase with the last album. I think that sums up the vibe of the album and project overall. We are very much in the `sadboi' world with Jeff Buckley, Puma Blue, Radiohead, Deftones, The Black Queen", says Grossman. Sonically, `Gild the Lily' combines alternative synth rock with chorus-tinted guitars, and a rhythm section that alternates between taut propulsion and roomy, reverb-soaked space. The arrangements both electronic and instrumental negotiates smooth and slick danceability alongside sinister edges. The band's aesthetic is one of deliberate economy: textures are chosen to serve mood and narrative rather than technical exhibitionism, and arrangements reveal their depth across repeated listens. Slick, sorrowful and cinematic in atmosphere, `Gild the Lily' is an eclectic collection that can not only groove in vibe and inspire movement, but also pierce to the nerve in ethereal lamentation. RIYL Crosses * Black Queen * Ulver * Vowws * Rosetta * Revocation * Rivers of Nihil

Das legendäre Debütalbum der norwegischen Funkateers Xploding Plastix, "Amateur Girlfriends Go Proskirt Agents" (2001), erscheint als Deluxe-Doppelvinyl mit 6 zusätzlichen Bonustracks. Mit ihrer Mischung aus obskuren Jazz-Samples, coolen Beats, melodischem Feeling, einer unkonventionellen Herangehensweise und einer gehörigen Portion Humor schufen Xploding Plastix ihren ganz eigenen Stil. Eine Art älterer Amon Tobin trifft auf Scott Walker in einem verraucht-schmuddeligen Jazzclub. Dazu noch ein Faible für Film Noir, Balearic Beats, Lo-Fi, absolut abgefahrene Sounds – einfach genial! Der NME schrieb damals: "Währenddessen bieten die Norweger Xploding Plastix – zwei Verrückte mit vielen kleinen Boxen und einem schrecklichen Namen – auf dem Jam Festival eine ganz andere Art von Umbruch. Ihr Sound ist ein lauter, desorientierender Future-Jazz-Krach, eine Mischung aus DJ Foods verrückten Drums, Aphex Twins Taktarten und den stimmungsvollsten, cineastischen Passagen von The Herbaliser. Fantastisch!"

Begging Dog ist das Indie-Punk-Projekt des in Los Angeles ansässigen Künstlers Jeff Kleinman. Als Ventil für seine Arbeit außerhalb der Band Choir Boy widmet sich Kleinman bei Begging Dog einem rohen, hausgemachten Sound mit Anklängen an Garage Punk und einer einfachen Sprache in den Texten. DEMO 1 ist 26 Minuten lang und voller rollender Bass- und Synthesizer-Linien, charismatischer Riffs und motorischer Drum-Beats. Textlich zeichnen die Songs eine Reihe von Beobachtungen, Szenen und Charakteren aus dem Leben: einen aufdringlichen Gewerkschaftsvertreter, einen Postboten mit einem festen Job bei der Bundesbehörde, einen zwanghaften Spieler und einen geliebten Obdachlosen aus der Nachbarschaft. Ehemalige Liebschaften werden zu einer Collage zusammengefügt, die mehrere Tracks begleitet, aus dem Zusammenhang gerissen, mit unverblümten, scharfsinnigen freien Versen. Kleinman nennt Bruce Springsteen als Inspiration dafür, wie seine Songs mit schlichter Tinte geschrieben sind, wobei er direkte Einfachheit gegenüber blumiger Prosa bevorzugt. Er greift eine gemeinsame Einsamkeit auf, die sowohl universell als auch vielleicht besonders einzigartig für das Leben in Los Angeles ist, mit schnörkellosen Nuancen und Verletzlichkeit. Im Titelsong singt Kleinman: ,Niemand liebt einen bettelnden Hund", eine Zeile, die er von einem Freund übernommen hat und die die Sichtweise des Projekts verkörpert: Die Welt kann einem das Gefühl geben, ein bettelnder Hund auf der Suche nach einem Zuhause zu sein. Auf dem Titelsong singt Kleinman ,no one loves a begging dog" (niemand liebt einen bettelnden Hund) in einer Zeile ,die er von einem Freund übernommen hat und die die Sichtweise des Projekts verkörpert: Die Welt kann einem das Gefühl geben, ein bettelnder Hund auf der Suche nach Zuneigung und Sicherheit zu sein, aber es liegt auch Schönheit in der Einsamkeit und der summenden Monotonie des Ganzen. Der synthlastige Titel ,Laughing Boy" reflektiert über den Sinn des Lebens, kritisiert hohe Mieten und erwähnt gleichzeitig den Duft von Jasminbäumen sowie die störende Präsenz der Polizei. In ,Common Place", umgeben von drängenden Drum-Machine-Kicks und Verzerrungen, singt er davon, wie er sich in einem 7-Eleven-Laden in der Innenstadt wirklich lebendig fühlt, um dann zwischen einer Tragödie, die er in einem Park miterlebt hat, und schönen Erinnerungen an das Leben in einer Wohngemeinschaft in Salt Lake City hin und her zu springen, bevor er sein neues Mantra verkündet: ,Es ist vorbei." Die Kontraste hier sind es, die diese Songs menschlich machen. Kleinman nahm DEMO 1 schnell und mit wenig mehr als sich selbst auf. Live übersetzt sich das dynamische Material von Begging Dog in eine siebenköpfige Band. Kleinman nahm DEMO 1 schnell und fast alleine auf. Live wird das dynamische Material von Begging Dog von einer siebenköpfigen Band umgesetzt. ,Egal, wie gut oder schlecht es einem geht, man sucht irgendwie nach etwas mehr", sagt Kleinman, ohne zu versuchen, eine größere Bedeutung in seiner Arbeit zu finden. ,Wenn ich über diese Dinge schreibe, versuche ich nicht, sie wichtiger zu machen, als sie sind." DEMO 1 profitiert von dieser geradlinigen, alltäglichen Bescheidenheit, die Offenheit mit Entschlossenheit und eingängigen Melodien verbindet.

Begging Dog ist das Indie-Punk-Projekt des in Los Angeles ansässigen Künstlers Jeff Kleinman. Als Ventil für seine Arbeit außerhalb der Band Choir Boy widmet sich Kleinman bei Begging Dog einem rohen, hausgemachten Sound mit Anklängen an Garage Punk und einer einfachen Sprache in den Texten. DEMO 1 ist 26 Minuten lang und voller rollender Bass- und Synthesizer-Linien, charismatischer Riffs und motorischer Drum-Beats. Textlich zeichnen die Songs eine Reihe von Beobachtungen, Szenen und Charakteren aus dem Leben: einen aufdringlichen Gewerkschaftsvertreter, einen Postboten mit einem festen Job bei der Bundesbehörde, einen zwanghaften Spieler und einen geliebten Obdachlosen aus der Nachbarschaft. Ehemalige Liebschaften werden zu einer Collage zusammengefügt, die mehrere Tracks begleitet, aus dem Zusammenhang gerissen, mit unverblümten, scharfsinnigen freien Versen. Kleinman nennt Bruce Springsteen als Inspiration dafür, wie seine Songs mit schlichter Tinte geschrieben sind, wobei er direkte Einfachheit gegenüber blumiger Prosa bevorzugt. Er greift eine gemeinsame Einsamkeit auf, die sowohl universell als auch vielleicht besonders einzigartig für das Leben in Los Angeles ist, mit schnörkellosen Nuancen und Verletzlichkeit. Im Titelsong singt Kleinman: ,Niemand liebt einen bettelnden Hund", eine Zeile, die er von einem Freund übernommen hat und die die Sichtweise des Projekts verkörpert: Die Welt kann einem das Gefühl geben, ein bettelnder Hund auf der Suche nach einem Zuhause zu sein. Auf dem Titelsong singt Kleinman ,no one loves a begging dog" (niemand liebt einen bettelnden Hund) in einer Zeile ,die er von einem Freund übernommen hat und die die Sichtweise des Projekts verkörpert: Die Welt kann einem das Gefühl geben, ein bettelnder Hund auf der Suche nach Zuneigung und Sicherheit zu sein, aber es liegt auch Schönheit in der Einsamkeit und der summenden Monotonie des Ganzen. Der synthlastige Titel ,Laughing Boy" reflektiert über den Sinn des Lebens, kritisiert hohe Mieten und erwähnt gleichzeitig den Duft von Jasminbäumen sowie die störende Präsenz der Polizei. In ,Common Place", umgeben von drängenden Drum-Machine-Kicks und Verzerrungen, singt er davon, wie er sich in einem 7-Eleven-Laden in der Innenstadt wirklich lebendig fühlt, um dann zwischen einer Tragödie, die er in einem Park miterlebt hat, und schönen Erinnerungen an das Leben in einer Wohngemeinschaft in Salt Lake City hin und her zu springen, bevor er sein neues Mantra verkündet: ,Es ist vorbei." Die Kontraste hier sind es, die diese Songs menschlich machen. Kleinman nahm DEMO 1 schnell und mit wenig mehr als sich selbst auf. Live übersetzt sich das dynamische Material von Begging Dog in eine siebenköpfige Band. Kleinman nahm DEMO 1 schnell und fast alleine auf. Live wird das dynamische Material von Begging Dog von einer siebenköpfigen Band umgesetzt. ,Egal, wie gut oder schlecht es einem geht, man sucht irgendwie nach etwas mehr", sagt Kleinman, ohne zu versuchen, eine größere Bedeutung in seiner Arbeit zu finden. ,Wenn ich über diese Dinge schreibe, versuche ich nicht, sie wichtiger zu machen, als sie sind." DEMO 1 profitiert von dieser geradlinigen, alltäglichen Bescheidenheit, die Offenheit mit Entschlossenheit und eingängigen Melodien verbindet.

Der lettische Pianist Georgijs Osokins widmet sein Debütalbum bei der Deutschen Grammophon dem estnischen Komponisten Arvo Pärt. „For Arvo” ist eine Hommage an die baltische Klavierkultur und die
zeitlose Musik des Komponisten anlässlich dessen 90. Geburtstags am 11. September 2025.
Neben Originalwerken für Klavier enthält das Album Osokins eigene Transkriptionen zentraler Pärt-Kompositionen
wie „Fratres”, „Pari intervallo” und „Fragile e conciliante, die das Vertrauen in Osokins’ musikalische Integrität und seine tiefe Auseinandersetzung mit Pärts Werk unterstreicht.
Osokins erforscht mit dem Programm die „verborgenen Beziehungen zwischen den verschiedenen Stücken
in Pärts Klavierwerk“ und spannt so den Bogen von Pärts frühen Kompositionen bis zu seinem charakteristischen Tintinnabuli-Stil. „Ich wollte genau den Moment kompositorischer Erkenntnis einfangen –
von komplexer zeitgenössischer Avantgarde bis hin zu reiner, leuchtender und rätselhafter Schönheit und
Schlichtheit”, erklärt Osokins. Eingespielt wurden die Werke auf einem über 100 Jahre alten blauen
Steinway-Flügel, dessen obertonreicher Klang dem Album eine unverwechselbare Atmosphäre verleiht.
„Dieses Album ist eine Liebeserklärung an Arvo und seine Musik“, so Georgijs Osokins.

Ramirez returns with THA PLAYA$ MANUAL II, the long-awaited sequel to his cult classic that helped solidify his place as one of underground rap’s most distinctive voices. Steeped in Southern-fried funk, Bay Area swagger, and Memphis-style menace, this new chapter finds Ramirez sharper, smoother, and more seasoned—delivering game like a streetwise sage with a gold grill grin.

Where the original Playa$ Manual was gritty and raw, THA PLAYA$ MANUAL II sounds like a player who's leveled up. The beats knock harder, the flows glide slicker, and the game is deeper. Ramirez weaves tales of betrayal, come-ups, late-night drives, and cold-hearted reality with the same charismatic cool that made him a standout in the $uicideboy$-adjacent G59 movement—but this time with a more refined, cinematic approach.

From trunk-rattling bangers to syrupy smooth cuts that soundtrack late-night escapades, THA PLAYA$ MANUAL II feels like a ride through Ramirez’s world with tinted windows up and the bass on max. It’s a record for the hustlers, the heartbreakers, the loners, and the legends in the making.

This is more than a sequel—it’s a statement: the playa’s still active, and the manual’s been updated.

Argentine pianist Hernán Jacinto and Uruguayan drummer Mateo Ottonello, come together in this boundary-pushing duo album recorded in New York. Blending acoustic and electronic textures, tradition and innovation, this project reimagines South American jazz through a contemporary lens-offering a powerful journey into the evolving sound of the Rio de la Plata. The two shores of the Río de la Plata-Buenos Aires and Montevideo-share a deep and vibrant jazz tradition, one that merges global influences with the region's rich musical heritage. For over half a century, rhythms like tango, candombe, and milonga have intertwined with jazz and other instrumental forms, continually exploring new directions and pushing creative boundaries. Argentine pianist and composer Hernán Jacinto and Uruguayan drummer and percussionist Mateo Ottonello embody this spirit of exploration. Though from different generations, both are among the most innovative voices in the Río de la Plata music scene-artists unafraid to blend past and present in pursuit of something new. Recorded in New York, their duo album offers a journey into the musical soul of the Río de la Plata, reimagined through a contemporary lens. It weaves a rich tapestry of acoustic and electronic textures, tradition and experimentation, groove and introspection. More than a fusion, it's a reinvention-revealing a new dimension of South American jazz musicianship.

Benjamin Hudson returns to Acroplane, following his last projects with us as Ebola (Wrong Music) and one half of Baconhead, with 'Slime'… and he's brought a load of his talented mates to collaborate with him.

Artwork by Everything Alllways

Mastering by James Forde Stewart @ Sorting Room Studios.

Brain Rays is part of queer collective, DOOMSCROLL, and Devon art & party crew, Bizarre Rituals. He is also a co-founder of Wrong Music alongside DJ Scotch Egg and Matt Lambert (Roger Species).

Known for his hectic, high pressure output with Quiet, and film soundtrack work (as part of Unknown Horrors) collaborating with director Dean Puckett (The Severed Sun, The Sermon, Satan's Bite) and Rhys Chapman (Wonderkid). As a DJ he has performed all over the world, including Transmediale Festival (Berlin), Today's Art (Den Haag) and Boomtown Fair, as well as two live sessions at Radio 1's legendary Maida Vale Studios. As a producer he has garnered support from the likes of Mary Anne Hobbs, ETCH, Huw Stephens, Drumskull, Annie Mac, and Nikki Nair.

Ramirez returns with THA PLAYA$ MANUAL II, the long-awaited sequel to his cult classic that helped solidify his place as one of underground rap’s most distinctive voices. Steeped in Southern-fried funk, Bay Area swagger, and Memphis-style menace, this new chapter finds Ramirez sharper, smoother, and more seasoned—delivering game like a streetwise sage with a gold grill grin.

Where the original Playa$ Manual was gritty and raw, THA PLAYA$ MANUAL II sounds like a player who's leveled up. The beats knock harder, the flows glide slicker, and the game is deeper. Ramirez weaves tales of betrayal, come-ups, late-night drives, and cold-hearted reality with the same charismatic cool that made him a standout in the $uicideboy$-adjacent G59 movement—but this time with a more refined, cinematic approach.

From trunk-rattling bangers to syrupy smooth cuts that soundtrack late-night escapades, THA PLAYA$ MANUAL II feels like a ride through Ramirez’s world with tinted windows up and the bass on max. It’s a record for the hustlers, the heartbreakers, the loners, and the legends in the making.

This is more than a sequel—it’s a statement: the playa’s still active, and the manual’s been updated.

Eager Buyers is an observation of longing, of memory, of attempted connection, of lost innocence, and irreconcilable dreams. It"s the sound of broken promises for a bright future, where rose-tinted glasses have lost their clarity, dirtied with disaffection over time. Across this sultry, smoky, cinematic epic, JASSS attempts to process mixed feelings amidst the modern malaise. Alluringly atmospheric and cerebral, but bold and direct, with high-spec sound design, JASSS spaces each element with expert definition. Searing swathes of noise nestle with crisp breakbeats, billowing bass, dark ambience, prepared piano, phosphorescent electronics and calibrated percussion.

Tallahassee"s Pool Kids are turning up the heat with Easier Said Than Done, their electrifying new album dropping September 26 via Epitaph Records. Kicking things off with the punchy, addictive lead single of the same name, the band showcases a sharpened edge to their signature blend of math rock intricacy and indie-pop charm. Following the critical success of their 2022 self-titled album-hailed by Paste, Stereogum, and Consequence-Pool Kids have been making waves on the road with the likes of Soccer Mommy, PUP, Joyce Manor, and most recently, Beach Bunny. Easier Said Than Done finds the band leveling up in every way, delivering explosive energy, emotional depth, and undeniable hooks that cement their place as one of the most exciting acts in indie rock today.

Tallahassee"s Pool Kids are turning up the heat with Easier Said Than Done, their electrifying new album dropping September 26 via Epitaph Records. Kicking things off with the punchy, addictive lead single of the same name, the band showcases a sharpened edge to their signature blend of math rock intricacy and indie-pop charm. Following the critical success of their 2022 self-titled album-hailed by Paste, Stereogum, and Consequence-Pool Kids have been making waves on the road with the likes of Soccer Mommy, PUP, Joyce Manor, and most recently, Beach Bunny. Easier Said Than Done finds the band leveling up in every way, delivering explosive energy, emotional depth, and undeniable hooks that cement their place as one of the most exciting acts in indie rock today.

Collecting pre-orders for a limited time only !! Hurry Up!!

Tino joins the global swing orbit with a 4-pack of slammin' summer-ready grooves. His new EP Set You Free is landing soon. This is paradise music, welcome to Dopamine Island. When you hear these cuts screaming across the club, you got 2 options: get up or get down. No in between. C’mon, baby. It's Tino season.

When you love a record too damn much, you will soon discover whether you "got what it takes” to make it yours. Such is the case with Turbo label head Tiga, who has played 11Schnull & Newinfluenzer’s 2023 underground hit “Ich und meine Ubahn” in each and every one of his DJ sets since its non-Turbo release. But unbridled track-passion is not always enough, and sometimes one must take a step back and recognize that the music business is also a business. So our in-house Corporate Development team, which has of late been entirely focused* on figuring out how best to monetize Tintin entering the public domain, set to work, successfully licensing the original while also creating the fun and potentially life-saving opportunity to visualize just how amicable the licensing process was.

All of which brings us to the remix pack at hand. The essentially perfect electro programming and vocal performance of the 2023 original leaves virtually no angle for improvement, save for the fact that the 4:20 runtime not enough for the median touring DJ to satisfy their chatbot mistress before they must begin the exacting work of selecting and mixing the next track. As such, we enlisted producers who could interpret the song from different planes of existence, namely Chilean-German wizard Matias Aguayo, French hardstyle prodigy Krarmpf, German aesthetes Extrawelt, Hamburg electro master DJ MELL G, and Asturian highbrow god Architectural. For reference, the planes conjured by these remixes are as follows: blacked out on Ivermectin; finally beat a pay-to-win mindfulness game; voted the Greatest Living Teen Artist by the readers of US Weekly; transformed into an expressionless little muscleman as if by magic; going viral; and curing jet lag in our lifetime. It is not for us to say which remix corresponds to which realm of human experience, but we do know that it is limited to those options.

Finally, please do not invite a chatbot lover into your marriage. Your spouse cannot hope to compete. And know that this advice comes from our best understanding of current world affairs, and does not represent what a repressed British man would calling “taking the pee.” At their very best, jokes are funny, and the fate of the human bedroom is no laughing matter at all.

*Like a laser!