Yeah, we get it: You cant technically be clinically paranoid if everything youre afraid of is actually happening. Its been a few years since we were scared shitless of letting cell phones anywhere near our crotches and suddenly, the electromagnetic waves mess with our brains big time. Lets not beat around the bush here, its all true. Your thoughts are being supervised, the government even has taken complete control over them, all while your moral compass is spinning at 78rpm like a broken shellac. Its bad, it feels weird and just so wrong. It doesnt even pay well, for fucks sake.
We know, we know: You need a remedy and you need it, like, yesterday at the latest. What we can offer for now is Konrad Wehrmeister from Munich, whose handcrafted alpha waves will interlock with your brain activity and set your will free by taking it over - it hasnt been yours for a while now, after all. Wehrmeisters pummeling techno is the B2B (business to brain) or even B2B2B (business to brain to booty) solution your sorry existence needs in these dire times, and he will professionally lead you to your destination with a little splash of »Radiation« to fire you up. Hes done it for Public Possession, hes done it for Ilian Tape. He can do it for you, if you trust him enough.
So please come and join us in eternal dispersion. RSVP by the complete loss of your sanity.